Our lives are filled to overflowing right now – with beautiful miracles and gifts… but more transitions than we know what to do with.
I have a crazy dream life. In early March, I had a dream where there was a baby sitting on the edge of our bed. However, the baby was about to fall off the bed. So, in my dream and real life, I dove across my husband’s body to catch this baby. My husband woke up and said: “Christen! What are you doing?” I responded: “the baby was about to fall.” I woke up completely and realized that I was sprawled horizontally across our bed. I had one thought from this dream that was very pronounced: “God was protecting us from a miscarriage.”
It would be almost 3 weeks later, when I awoke earlier than my alarm on a Wednesday morning… I was a week late. But, February is a short month and I had been under a lot of stress lately. Nonetheless, I decided to take a pregnancy test. As Tony slept soundly, I watched as two pink lines showed up right away on my test. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. I’m pregnant. I was barely whispering to myself in the bathroom. Thank you, God. Thank you! God, you are SO good.
I decided to grab my Bible, my journal, the test, a little outfit we had been saving for that day that God blessed us with children…. and I tip-toe-d out to the living room. As I read the Book of Isaiah, and journaled the emotions of that moment…. I also had this question of how would I tell Tony?? So, I wrote him a card… wrapped my test in gift wrap paper… and put these items along with the baby outfit in a gift bag. I tip-toed back to the bedroom, set our flipvideo cam on the dresser and hit ‘record’ and snuggled back into bed next to him. Tony…. Tony… It’s time to wake up. I have a surprise for you… Before he had even fully awakened, I excitedly handed them bag. Half asleep, Tony opened the tissue wrapped test and then asked: “What does this mean?” I replied: “We’re going to have a baby.” His next question was: “Wait, did you pee on this?” I didn’t, but he was too tired to focus on my answer as he processed the news that God had entrusted us with this little miracle of life. The moments that followed were a celebration and words of gratitude to the Creator of life. What a miracle.
Tony and I are expecting our little one to join our family on Nov. 22, 2011… but I have a hunch Baby B will want to join us sooner – maybe on the 15th… my birthday? After all, we are taking Baby B on his/her first international trip this summer when we go on a trip to Central Asia, and the excitement of that alone may be enough to get this baby kicking.
Over the last four years of our marriage, we have cherished the children around us that God has put in our lives… neighbor kids… friends’ children… photography client’s children and most dear to our hearts, our two nephews, Levi and Machiah. We have loved every moment of this season, but we are looking forward to having a beautiful baby in our home. It is amazing how much peace we feel as our entire lives are about to turn upside down. I don’t feel the need (yet) to frantically read every blog or book written on pregnancy… we are quitting our jobs to respond to a dream that has been written on our hearts for almost 10 years… and trusting that somehow, the craziness of it all is exactly where we need to find our stability.
Below is an image of sweet Elise who reminds me of all that is good, beautiful, and light. I had such a sweet family session with Elise, her siblings, and parents. I hope I can share with you a full preview sometime soon. This summer, I will be taking a 3 month break from children and family work, and exploring my passion in storytelling and photography for the purpose of speaking truth, advocating for the needs of others, and showing others the beauty that they possess. I hope to keep this blog full of the images of beautiful people and places I experience on the other side of the world.